So, according to all the cable and network news sources, the United States is now "officially" in a recession, and has been for about a year now. Absolutely fucking fascinating. Yeah, making it "official," that was the key...now everybody is going to figure it out. We've known this for months, as the housing market was bottoming out, as every arrogant banking group was lining up to get a bailout so they could keep their big-time salaries, bonuses, and stadium naming rights. Yeah, things might have been rough, but now it's "official," so NOW we can say comfortably that the economy is spiraling down the porcelain? You may now facepalm thusly.
In somewhat related news, Ford CEO Alan Mulally, Chrysler CEO Robert Nardelli, and GM CEO Rick Wagoner all announced they would work for $1 a year as they approach Congress with their new plan to beg for a $25 billion bailout. How droll. Maybe they should have taken this dramatic bullshit gesture well before the car went off the cliff, pun intended. Even now, a buck a year is overpriced for these three men, and the bottom line is any bailout, in addition to actual honest-to-god oversight (like any of us expect THAT to happen), the bailout needs to include the resignation of all three men, with replacement scouting to take place somewhere in the incorporated city limits of competence.
Meanwhile, it was reported by British news that President-elect Obama is buying his wife a $30,000 diamond ring. Puppy be damned, pal...how bad did you fuck up to warrant that?
It was announced today that even more material was being made public from the Nixon administration, shedding more light on Watergate and Vietnam, among other things. The release consists of 200 hours of audiotape and more than 90,000 pages of documents from 1972-74. Holy cow, this guy releases more posthumous material than Jimi Hendrix. At the rate this is going, we should have a better picture of the scope of Dubya's dry fisting of this country sometime in 2071...
Meanwhile, a trio of enterprising people in Ohio found themselves in hot water after a raffle went bust. Christopher S. Johnson, 33, an academic adviser at OSU's School of Nursing, Rusty Blades, 42, a real estate agent, and Vanise Dunn, 31, an employee of Franklin County Children Services and apparent part-time prostitute, were all nabbed after putting together the raffle, at $10 a ticket, on Craigslist, to spend an evening with a prostitute. Even sadder is the fact that Dunn has been employed as a child sex-abuse caseworker with Franklin County Children Services since 2000. Fuck, man, doesn't that job pay anything? Johnson was charged with promoting prostitution and given $25,000 bail. Blades, who was providing the house where the "prize" was to be collected, with also charged with promoting prostitution and given $50,000 bail. Dunn, who was named as the prize, was charged November 12 with allegedly soliciting a vice detective in a presumably different incident. Not that I'm against entrepreneurship or anything like that, but the most outrageous part of this is the idea that Dunn is on paid leave since her arrest, while the agency looks into whether Dunn violated any of its policies. What in the name of holy damn is there to figure out? You got someone charged with at least one sex crime, albeit the lowest level possible, realistically, and you're still letting her draw a paycheck as a sex abuse caseworker, for children?
Showing posts with label prostitution. Show all posts
Showing posts with label prostitution. Show all posts
Tuesday, December 2, 2008
Thursday, November 20, 2008
The Daily Breakdown - 11.20.08
Wow. That's really all I can say at the moment. It has been a whirlwind two weeks and change since election day, and the history just keeps on coming. First African-American president elected, women running for both president and vice-president this time around, an expected first African-American attorney general, and now, on top of it all, the good people of Silverton, Oregon saw fit to elect Stu Rasmussen back into the mayor's office. Rasmussen, who served two terms as mayor after winning elections in 1988 and 1990, and had served the last four years on the city council, gained 52% of the vote to defeat incumbent mayor Ken Hector (39%), and in the process, became the first openly transgender mayor in the United States. Just waiting for the headline where Rasmussen becomes the first mayor in U.S. history to resign from office for sexually harassing himself...
Federal agents and local police raided three "tanning salons" and arrested at least five people in the Seattle area Tuesday as part of a two-year investigation into what they say were fronts for prostitution. The King County Sheriff's Department, Seattle Police, the Internal Revenue Service, and Immigration and Customs Enforcement coordinated raids on five homes and businesses, arresting the owners, who had been indicted on charges of conspiring to transport women for prostitution and conspiring to launder the proceeds of the alleged brothels. Uh, yeah...whoopty damn. Why did it take four agencies two fucking years to figure out whether or not these businesses were selling pussy along with unlimited tanning packages? Makes me wonder how many of the law enforcement personnel who labored on this, ahem, bust look like George Hamilton now? Guess there is a happy ending for sunburn after all. Just don't ask where the lotion was applied...
I'm loving this...McDonald's, in addition to actually applying for patents in the U.S. and UK, claiming that their sandwiches, and the production method thereof, is "intellectual property," is also crusading to create the image their food-type products are healthy. Notable hilarity in this effort includes a slaughterhouse visit, to not only show the humane way the chickens are treated before the ax comes down, but to prove the McChicken nuggets actually contain chicken! Even funnier, and slightly more awkward than that, McDonald's is trying to rehab the image of their fries as healthy. Yeah, the fries. The fries that contain 380 calories, 270 mg of sodium, and a color preservative. Oh my McFucking God...
As first mentioned by Wonkette.com, Wall Street Journal deputy editorial page editor and long past brain damaged jackhole Daniel Henninger had his two cents' worth as to the cause of the financial crisis our country is in: "This year we celebrate the desacralized “holidays” amid what is for many unprecedented economic ruin — fortunes halved, jobs lost, homes foreclosed. People wonder, What happened? One man’s theory: A nation whose people can’t say “Merry Christmas” is a nation capable of ruining its own economy." It's official. The Wall Street Journal needs to change their name, because if the best one of the low foreheads in charge of the opinion page can do is blame the so-called "war on Christmas" on the financial crisis, then the WSJ no longer has any business whatsoever covering Wall Street, or much of anything involving real reporter-type shit anymore. Ever. Period. Also, since it costs more to make a penny than it's actually worth, we have a more realistic take on what Dan Henninger's idiotic fucking ramblings are worth. Merry Christmas, you fucking moron. There, are you happy now, Henninger?
Federal agents and local police raided three "tanning salons" and arrested at least five people in the Seattle area Tuesday as part of a two-year investigation into what they say were fronts for prostitution. The King County Sheriff's Department, Seattle Police, the Internal Revenue Service, and Immigration and Customs Enforcement coordinated raids on five homes and businesses, arresting the owners, who had been indicted on charges of conspiring to transport women for prostitution and conspiring to launder the proceeds of the alleged brothels. Uh, yeah...whoopty damn. Why did it take four agencies two fucking years to figure out whether or not these businesses were selling pussy along with unlimited tanning packages? Makes me wonder how many of the law enforcement personnel who labored on this, ahem, bust look like George Hamilton now? Guess there is a happy ending for sunburn after all. Just don't ask where the lotion was applied...
I'm loving this...McDonald's, in addition to actually applying for patents in the U.S. and UK, claiming that their sandwiches, and the production method thereof, is "intellectual property," is also crusading to create the image their food-type products are healthy. Notable hilarity in this effort includes a slaughterhouse visit, to not only show the humane way the chickens are treated before the ax comes down, but to prove the McChicken nuggets actually contain chicken! Even funnier, and slightly more awkward than that, McDonald's is trying to rehab the image of their fries as healthy. Yeah, the fries. The fries that contain 380 calories, 270 mg of sodium, and a color preservative. Oh my McFucking God...
As first mentioned by Wonkette.com, Wall Street Journal deputy editorial page editor and long past brain damaged jackhole Daniel Henninger had his two cents' worth as to the cause of the financial crisis our country is in: "This year we celebrate the desacralized “holidays” amid what is for many unprecedented economic ruin — fortunes halved, jobs lost, homes foreclosed. People wonder, What happened? One man’s theory: A nation whose people can’t say “Merry Christmas” is a nation capable of ruining its own economy." It's official. The Wall Street Journal needs to change their name, because if the best one of the low foreheads in charge of the opinion page can do is blame the so-called "war on Christmas" on the financial crisis, then the WSJ no longer has any business whatsoever covering Wall Street, or much of anything involving real reporter-type shit anymore. Ever. Period. Also, since it costs more to make a penny than it's actually worth, we have a more realistic take on what Dan Henninger's idiotic fucking ramblings are worth. Merry Christmas, you fucking moron. There, are you happy now, Henninger?
Thursday, October 2, 2008
Thoughts on Episode 68
Wonder how many people are hanging on every minute of the bailout drama, now that details are emerging in which our Senate apparently wants to bail out railroads and Puerto Rican rum production right along with a mess of other shit that has absolutely nothing to do with the economic woes in the first place. Like I said on the show, I doubt the railroads are hurting, last time I checked, NASCAR is doing just fine, and come on, man...fucking wool research? Like there isn't anything we don't fucking know about wool by the year 2008? Key to remember here is the fact that Sen. John McCain (the guy who thinks our economic fundamental are rock damn strong) voted for the bill, although not even twenty-four hours later, he is hounding G-Dub to veto the bill, no matter what. No matter what, damnit! What the hell, is McCain already regretting his latest one-night stand after a party at the pork bar?
xxx
So, according to an "anonymous insider" at the American Red Cross, the Department of Defense made 5,000 black men disappear into the Louisiana swamps after a single bullet to the head, in the wake of Hurricane Katrina? This is the assertion of Cynthia McKinney, the Green Party presidential candidate. You may now have a moment at home with which to facepalm. If you needed any further proof that McKinney is batshit crazy, maybe you'll get lucky and she'll wind up marrying Bobby Brown. Oh, what a reality show that would be...
xxx
Being found dead in your truck in a Wal Mart parking lot after huffing seven and a half cans of fucking compressed air (also known as keyboard cleaner)? Congratulations, Julie Miller of Franklin, North Carolina- you just got the seat right up front on the short bus to Heaven. Hope you kept your hands inside the bus on the trip, dumbass.
xxx
Using a religious defense to try and dodge charges including running a bordello? (that's whorehouse for those of you who do not own a dictionary or a word a day calendar from the Hustler Superstore) Damn near brilliant, but still a swing and a miss...A for effort, though.
xxx
Now that the police in Britain have managed to confiscate (and subsequently lose) an elderly man's cane, which they deemed an "offensive weapon," maybe on next week's show, we'll find the tale of cops in the UK snagging an old lady's walker as a weapon of mass destruction. I know how you feel...you wanna look at me like I'm crazy, but the more you examine that situation, the more you find yourself feeling I'll probably be right sooner than later.
xxx
Which is more disturbing: the concept of Kelly Osbourne having drunken, unprotected sex, or Ellen DeGeneres hawking beauty products, in yet another semi-ironic celebrity example of hypocrisy? Yeah, I hear ya...tough call. Better yet, rather not think about either, come to think of it...
xxx
I would love to make an outrageous statement for charity, like for every picture our readers or listeners send of them with a stolen mile marker 66.6 sign from New Jersey, I'd donate some $ to the March of Dimes or something, but let's not kid ourselves here, people. I host an Internet radio show. How much do you think that is really paying right now? Yeah...but if you do manage to steal the signs, helpfully located at:
- The Garden State Parkway, Barnegat
- The New Jersey Turnpike, East Windor
Then send the damn pics, anyway...we'll post them on here, everybody will get a chuckle, and if you get pinched, as an added bonus, we'll slap your mugshot up here if they make it on The Smoking Gun's website. Good times.
Thursday, September 11, 2008
Thoughts on Probably Uncalled For #66
Amazing. Less than two months to go before the 2008 Presidential election, and somehow, we still have 3,000 days left of this shit. Pitbulls, soccer moms, pigs, lipstick, pregnant teenagers, unknown number of houses one own, "secret" Muslims, sexism, racism, experience, inexperience, and that's just scratching the surface, what with volumes of asshat behavior from Sarah Palin's past coming public on a daily basis. Is this an election, or the season of Dallas they couldn't fucking air? As both a talk show host and a avid blogger/commentator, this kind of bullshit makes me wish Paris Hilton, Lindsay Lohan, and Britney Spears would go back to being daily public dumbasses. Where the fuck are the paparazzi when you need them?...
...I'm not surprised there is an emerging drug problem in the world of sumo wrestling. Every sport has/will have their scandals eventually, and the law of averages says sooner or later, one of those scandals is going to be drugs. I guess this may, in fact, be the only sport on Earth in which marijuana is a performance enhancer. Probably nothing more self-destructive, I imagine, than a speed freak sumo wrestler. Allow me to play devil's advocate for the sumos. They are a proud athlete, with the sport going back nearly 2,000 years. This is like religion in Japan, and a major reason American-style professional wrestling is hugely popular there, as well. For many professional wrestlers out there (myself and my show's co host, included) who get irritated as hell when we see or hear about "backyard" wrestling promotions, so I can only begin to imagine what these poor guys feel when they see a bunch of half-shitfaced frat boys in the sumo suits, looking like half-shitface sumo action figures having seizures. They must need something to fill that hole in their soul that four fried chickens and a coke just won't. Don't get me wrong, the four fried chickens and the coke's gonna happen, we all know that, all I am asking is won't somebody please think of the sumos?...
...got quite a bit of amusement when we got to the story on hookers in Sweden wanting to pay taxes on their earnings. Can't find any cons on this, or any rational reason to disagree, cause God knows the arguments against this are ludicrous, but I can't help but think somehow the whole joke about "twenty bucks, same as in town," are going to become a thing of the past, cause now you''' think about this, then try to calculate the exchange rate, which somehow will lead to figuring in gratuity (15%, ya cheap bastard) plus sales tax. (On average, using exchange rates current as this is written, this" $20 bucks same as in town," will run ya 165 Swedish Kronors), and by the time you're through with that cerebral mess, the moment has passed. Far and away...
already mentioned Britney Spears once in this column. That's the limit. Not like the MTV Video Music Awards fucking matter to anyone, anywhere, anymore...
...next time Oasis is performing, and a fan wants to kick one of the Gallagher brothers' asses, I can only hope they either get the job done with whichever douchebag they pick (or get to first), or the roadies, people attending (I refuse to believe there are actually fans of Oasis left at this point), and even the rest of the band say to hell with it and sit back and watch the beat down...
The good...Al Franken winning his Senate primary in Minnesota on Tuesday. Now, for the general election, where the former SNL writer will face incumbent Senator Norm Coleman (R) and former U.S Senator (appointed by then-Gov. Ventura) Dean Barkley, running for the Independence Party.
The bad...Lindsay Lohan turning down a $700,000 offer from Playboy to pose for a spread. I know I trashed this out on the show, and rightfully so, but let me explain why I've given this the "bad" for the week so far. While the idea of paying someone like Lohan any kind of folding money to flash her damaged goods is an automatic bad, as is people paying for the...ahem...opportunity to see it (doesn't anyone have the Internet? I mean, for fuck's sake, who hasn't seen Lindsay Lohan naked?) I have a Playboy subscription, but I think I'd have to send that one back, or see how much some schmuck would pay for it on eBay, make up the pro-rated loss of value of my subscription for that year. If you haven't seen her naked, then give up already. Take my word for it, you've seen one rusted-out car in an alley, you've pretty much seen them all. Could have been worse, however. Playboy could have made the offer to Samantha Ronson.
The ugly...I went ahead and gave this to Gary Coleman, for his vehicular mishap. Look, hitting some anonymous asshole with your car is so last year. Notice there weren't any photographers following your every move? Go find another bullshit reality show to go hang your wee hat on, cause all the seeing over the dashboard jokes have all been done, and are best served for the elderly. Schmuck.
Catch you next week on the show...
...I'm not surprised there is an emerging drug problem in the world of sumo wrestling. Every sport has/will have their scandals eventually, and the law of averages says sooner or later, one of those scandals is going to be drugs. I guess this may, in fact, be the only sport on Earth in which marijuana is a performance enhancer. Probably nothing more self-destructive, I imagine, than a speed freak sumo wrestler. Allow me to play devil's advocate for the sumos. They are a proud athlete, with the sport going back nearly 2,000 years. This is like religion in Japan, and a major reason American-style professional wrestling is hugely popular there, as well. For many professional wrestlers out there (myself and my show's co host, included) who get irritated as hell when we see or hear about "backyard" wrestling promotions, so I can only begin to imagine what these poor guys feel when they see a bunch of half-shitfaced frat boys in the sumo suits, looking like half-shitface sumo action figures having seizures. They must need something to fill that hole in their soul that four fried chickens and a coke just won't. Don't get me wrong, the four fried chickens and the coke's gonna happen, we all know that, all I am asking is won't somebody please think of the sumos?...
...got quite a bit of amusement when we got to the story on hookers in Sweden wanting to pay taxes on their earnings. Can't find any cons on this, or any rational reason to disagree, cause God knows the arguments against this are ludicrous, but I can't help but think somehow the whole joke about "twenty bucks, same as in town," are going to become a thing of the past, cause now you''' think about this, then try to calculate the exchange rate, which somehow will lead to figuring in gratuity (15%, ya cheap bastard) plus sales tax. (On average, using exchange rates current as this is written, this" $20 bucks same as in town," will run ya 165 Swedish Kronors), and by the time you're through with that cerebral mess, the moment has passed. Far and away...
already mentioned Britney Spears once in this column. That's the limit. Not like the MTV Video Music Awards fucking matter to anyone, anywhere, anymore...
...next time Oasis is performing, and a fan wants to kick one of the Gallagher brothers' asses, I can only hope they either get the job done with whichever douchebag they pick (or get to first), or the roadies, people attending (I refuse to believe there are actually fans of Oasis left at this point), and even the rest of the band say to hell with it and sit back and watch the beat down...
The good...Al Franken winning his Senate primary in Minnesota on Tuesday. Now, for the general election, where the former SNL writer will face incumbent Senator Norm Coleman (R) and former U.S Senator (appointed by then-Gov. Ventura) Dean Barkley, running for the Independence Party.
The bad...Lindsay Lohan turning down a $700,000 offer from Playboy to pose for a spread. I know I trashed this out on the show, and rightfully so, but let me explain why I've given this the "bad" for the week so far. While the idea of paying someone like Lohan any kind of folding money to flash her damaged goods is an automatic bad, as is people paying for the...ahem...opportunity to see it (doesn't anyone have the Internet? I mean, for fuck's sake, who hasn't seen Lindsay Lohan naked?) I have a Playboy subscription, but I think I'd have to send that one back, or see how much some schmuck would pay for it on eBay, make up the pro-rated loss of value of my subscription for that year. If you haven't seen her naked, then give up already. Take my word for it, you've seen one rusted-out car in an alley, you've pretty much seen them all. Could have been worse, however. Playboy could have made the offer to Samantha Ronson.
The ugly...I went ahead and gave this to Gary Coleman, for his vehicular mishap. Look, hitting some anonymous asshole with your car is so last year. Notice there weren't any photographers following your every move? Go find another bullshit reality show to go hang your wee hat on, cause all the seeing over the dashboard jokes have all been done, and are best served for the elderly. Schmuck.
Catch you next week on the show...
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