What part of body cavity search did you miss, dumbass?

The crackhead in question, pictured below, 38 year-old Evelyn Russo of Palm City, Florida, was arrested and charged after stealing two bucks in change from a car. While being booked, they found a glass crack pipe lodged between her ass cheeks, leading to an additional charge of introducing contraband into a detention facility. No word on whether or not charges are being considered for testing the limits of what latex gloves make it acceptable to touch.

Man, even with the grief I give police officers in my articles and posts from time to time for some of the stupid things they do, this is obviously one of those times when they are grossly underpaid, and judging from the picture, extra emphasis on grossly. Even for a crackhead, this dumbass is an embarrassment. It's 2008, lady...the law is well onto the tactic of hiding things in your ASS by now! Not to mention, after taking a look at you, and then this story, and then you again, I would dare venture the pipe was probably healthier before, when just used for inhaling crack, than it is now, after spending an exciting couple of hours crammed up your nasty ass. My advice would be to just go ahead and fucking hang yourself with jailhouse sheets, or your panties, should you even own any, or whatever you can get your hands on, because you obviously suck at life.