The Daily Breakdown - 11.23.08

What would a Sunday edition of the Breakdown be without some comment on the absolutely pisspoor job by my at-one-time beloved St. Louis Rams? Dropping a home game to the Chicago Bears 27-3, using all three quarterbacks to do it, and given the way this season has gone, it is hardly surprising. Zero rushing yards for the Rams until early in the 4th Quarter. Yeah...0 rushing yards, although they did manage to muster up 14 by the end of the game. 4th and 2, and Jim Hazlett can't figure out to go for it or try for a field goal? Good lord, man, no wonder you were on the coach's staff rather than running the team this year.

When I managed to tune into the game, Marc Bulger was riding the bench, and that is where he needs to stay for the remainder of the season, and yes, I know how much money the organization tossed down the crapper on him in his new contract. Ditto that for Steven Jackson, who has rewarded the club with more time on the sidelines in street clothes than on the field since holding out for more money. O-line has been absolutely pathetic this season. Not that backup QB Trent Green fared much better, other than going above and beyond to improve the Bears' sack and interception totals for the year before yielding to third-stringer Brock Berlin. Freakin' yarg...I would say wait until next year, but it may be more realistic to add two, at least three years to that...the way they are playing this year, I could hold the Rams to 9 points (all field goals) and gain three picks, and that is by my damn self. Wouldn't even need the rest of the team. Just me, baby.

Speaking of blind optimism, the Illinois State Police announced new measures covering the operation of cruisers by troopers in the wake of two big lawsuits filed in response to a high-speed crash last year that killed two teenage sisters and injured a couple in the resulting pileup. Former trooper Matt Mitchell, who was going 126 mph when the wreck occurred, has pled not guilty to two counts of reckless homicide in St. Clair County court, and will go to trial early next year. The changes include implementation of a four tier system, as announced by state police director Larry Trent, who added "The long-standing culture of response at all costs is no longer acceptable within the Illinois State Police." We'll see.

Among the changes: at the first tier, trooper are limited to following traffic laws, at the second and third levels, troopers can speed, but must get supervisor approval before going more than 20 mph over the speed limit, and only supervisors may call a "code red," which clears troopers to put the pedal to the floor. In addition, all code red calls will be reviewed by a committee. Additionally, troopers are now required to go hands-free with their cell phones, and are no longer allowed to shut off the dash cameras during emergency call responses. According to the state police, Illinois is now only the second state in the U.S. to restrict trooper speeds. Aren't cops supposed to obey traffic laws in the first fucking place? Secondly, why the hell would a cop shut off the dash cam during an emergency call? I mean, how are these reality "clip" shows to survive? I have a hard time seeing this really make a difference. Cops love to speed. Provable fact. They have, with few exceptions, the fastest cars on the road, taxpayer-funded gas, and most importantly, the law on their side. I still remember one day, coming across the Minton bridge from Indiana into Louisville, and not paying attention to my speed. The speed limit, a mere suggestion on that bridge, is 35 mph, and yet, despite the fact I was going 60, a Louisville Metro cruiser rolled past me like I was holding his ass up for a hot deal on day-olds at Kroger's or something. It's going to take a lot more tragic instances and multi-million dollar lawsuits for police officers by large to start driving like they have much sense to go with the guns and flashing lights that make them think they can get away with it.

Guess who else figured out D.A.R.E. doesn't really work all that well? In Newcastle, Australia, an anti-drug and alcohol program sponsored by the New South Wales government featured a helpful little brochure offering tips on speed, including:

"If you don't already have a reliable dealer, try to find one and stick with them."

"When you're using a new batch, only try a little at first ... you can always use the rest later if you need to."

In addition, users are urged to take breaks from using speed, allow time to "come down" so it doesn't interfere with work or study and to carry the phone number of a legal aid solicitor with them. The 35-page booklet, produced by the National Drug and Alcohol Research Centre, was part of the drug literature displayed to up to 100 students and parents. Wonder if it had pictures of Amy Winehouse, as well.

Criticism was swift, as a yeshole for Attorney General John Hatzistergos said the Government did not condone the use of illegal drugs, and the AG's office was investigating the matter. Darren Marton, a guest speaker at the event, said the material should never have been seen by teenagers. "One lady who was helping out on the day was physically shaken and had to go outside in tears after reading the brochure." Oh, come the fuck on with that. If this lady was physically shaken and in tears after reading the brochure, I'm willing to bet she isn't stable enough to be allowed in public by herself. Life isn't a black-and-white TV show from the 1950s, and she should bloody well know that. Then again, from the sound of things, she probably gets light-headed at PG-13 movies. The added bonus came from Opposition education spokesman Andrew Stoner, who said a drugs guide was the last thing parents and their children needed. No, sir. Perhaps the last thing needed is someone named Stoner speaking out against drugs. The parody just writes itself at that point.