Wow, and here I was, thinking that the Detroit Lions was going to be the biggest disaster on turkey day...professional loudmouth Rosie O'Donnell's alledged variety show on NBC, Rosie Live, drew a simply pathetic 1.2 rating the night before, meaning more people were watching an informercial on male enhancement products than her latest attempt to hang on to the mainstream. Think that might be a little harsh? Nope. The show matched the ratings for Pushing Daisies, which ABC just cancelled. An equal to damn near greater number of people were watching a show they knew wouldn't be back, rather than witness you mooing your way through whatever it was your clusterfuck was trying to pull off.
Problem #1: O'Donnell singing a duet with Liza Minnelli. You know what's worse than Liza Minnelli singing? Rosie fucking O'Donnell trying to sing. Who can listen to her using her normal speaking voice, let alone cranking up the volume to sing? I'd rather listen to a busy day at the bolt gun shoot in a fucking slaughterhouse. I'd rather listen to three cats having an orgy in a potato sack being whacked with a bat jammed full of nails. I'd rather...well, you see where I'm going with this.
Problem #2: A skit with Alec Baldwin pasting Conan O'Brien with a pie. I dig Conan O'Brien, but come on, man...a pie in the face skit? Vaudeville is dead, so dead, still dead, and it ain't never coming back. The writers strike must have done more damage than we all thought.
Problem #3: A striptease by Jane Krakowski shilling White Caster sliders and Crest Whitestrips. Something tells me the mix of Krakowski stripping and sliders put together was more for O'Donnell's benefit than anything else. And that is one greasy bad mental image, no matter how cheap sliders are.
The final nail in Rosie's piano crate had to be the email from an exec at another network, opining that "There's a notion that the climate is right for the genre to make a comeback. I guess we now know what not to do, thanks to Rosie."
Indeed. Well put, sir or ma'am, as the case may be. Now can we get her dumb ass to do a reality show, in the hopes she can kill that genre too?
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