Coming up tonight on the show...

Join us tonight on the show, as we'll be discussifying some air travel, crime, the most depressing news regarding depression we've heard in a hot minute, adventures in obesity, misadventures in spelling, a warning sign your parents just may suck, the Oscars (for whatever reason), along with all the usual To Be Announced...LIVE tonight at 8PM Eastern/5PM Pacific...

Important update regarding tonight's show

Intermittent trouble with Internet and phone service, thanks to Insight Broadband having "intermittent area-wide outages"...yeah, real goddamned convenient when it's been going off and on for five fucking days, now...

The show is still going on the air, phone lines will be up, although, depending on the service, can't guarantee our switchboard will work...646.478.5145, but you already know the number, don't ya?...

Coming up tonight on Probably Uncalled For...

Join Dr. Thomas Keister tonight LIVE @ 8pm EST/5pm PST for an all-new Probably Uncalled For, as tonight he'll be covering new all-time highs and lows in education, great moments in police car etiquette and other crime and punishment, the massive beef recall, and the massive people it is not even affecting, unionizing sex, Paris Hilton, (oddly enough, those last two are not even related), and other topics to be announced.

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Coming up tonight on Probably Uncalled For

Winter decided to return to the midwest, so if you're snowed in, fire up that Internet-type box, head on over to Probably Uncalled For! Tonight, Dr. Tom and ppdingles have got it all for you...Britney and the Exorcist?...is Virginia the most "intellectually disabled" state in the nation?...The Grammys?...they still give those things out?...all this, you ask?...yeah, and so much more...Live...8pm...we'll see you there...

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Tonight, on Probably Uncalled For

Catch an all-new Probably Uncalled For tonight LIVE at 8 pm EST, as Dr. Thomas Keister and ppdingles will have plenty of fuckery to wade through, including Hookers for Jesus, more life imitating art, the dangers of sleeping on your own couch, and the War on Reincarnation. That's right...you can feel it...
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Tonight, on The Greatest Thing Since Sliced Came in Bread Form, join Dr. Thomas Keister and ppdingles as they'll be cornering some crime and punishment (more or less), this week in litigtion, a stripper who may just have the worst luck ever, a week of both lows and lower lows for Eddie Murphy, something about Dane Cook's stupid a**...hope he doesn't steal the bit we do on him, sports (including whatever the hell ESPN thinks is a sport this week) and all the other miscellaneous TBA you need like to get you through your week. We've seen your life. Trust us, we know...

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Tonight, on the show...

Come join the Greatest Thing Since Sliced Came in Bread Form as we'll be hitting and then probably forgetting irony in New Jersey, more reasons to fear the state of health care, some unbelievable shit from Illinois, and more coverage of all the fuckery, including the New Hampshire Primary, you've come to know and accept, like all your other bad habits.

This week, LIVE on Probably Uncalled For...

THAT'S GREATEST THING SINCE SLICED CAME IN BREAD FORM IS BACK FOR A SECOND SEASON IN 2008 & LIVE ON BLOGALKRADIO.COM!!!



JOIN US TOMORROW NIGHT @ 8PM EST, AS WE'LL BE TOUCHING ON THE LAST CRAP OF 2007, AS WELL AS SOME OF THE FRESH NEW, EXCITING CRAP ALREADY UNDERWAY IN THE 2008 . NO SENSE IN TRYING TO STOP THE INTERNET JUGGERNAUT, SO LOG ON AND CHECK US OUT TUESDAY NIGHT. 8PM. LIVE. BLOG TALK RADIO.

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Happy New Year from all of us here at Probably Uncalled For and Free Rein Media

Regarding the cancellation of tonight's episode

Sorry, everybody, but there's just no way we can go on with tonight's planned episode, even in the 'abbreviated' format that had been kicked around for the last few hours. Thomas simply is not as capable of doing tonight's broadcast as was hoped earlier this afternoon.

We'll be back on the air next Tuesday at our regular time, 8:00PM Eastern/5:00PM Pacific.

Thanks

Free Rein Media, LLC
Clarksville, Indiana

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More hits and misses...

So, Britney Spears' new album, the ironically titled Blackout, will debut at #1 on the Billboard charts this week, bumping Carrie Underwood from the top spot. People seem surprised, but I'll be anxious to see the sales numbers, so I can see how many copies the label ponied up for to try and make it look like not only a hit, but a successful comeback. Something tells me it won't work by this point. Maybe if she flashed some vag on the CD cover...

Fuck Barry Bonds. I know I'm not the first to say it, I know I won't be the last, but still, fuck Barry Bonds. The solution to his dilemma regarding the * ball going to Cooperstown is simple- don't elect the mook to the Hall of Fame. You guys wanna question Mark McGwire, but Barry Bonds is going to the Hall of Fame? It's an absolute outrage. Yeah, don't show up for your own induction. Doubt anybody will notice much, or care, in the long run. Jerk.

Duane Chapman, the 54-year-old also known as "Dog the Bounty Hunter," has apologized for his recent remarks, which helpfully ended up on audio released by the National Enquirer. In the tape, Chapman is berating his son for his involvement with a black woman, threatening to fire him if he didn't call it off. Mighty white of you, Dog. Could we expect anything less from the guy with history's greatest mullet? The amazing part about the taped conversation, powered by Chapman's apparent fondness for the N-bomb, is that Chapman himself expresses concern that his son's girlfriend would become "offended" by the remarks, tape them and release them, although nobody knows who leaked the tape to the media. Wow. You mean you don't know who did it? Fucking seriously? And you, um, catch people for a living? Thank god the show isn't called Dog the Master of the Stunningly Fucking Obvious, people may not be able to keep up. Not surprisingly, A&E has suspended Chapman pending an investigation.


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ECW Vs TNA - One Night Only!

After doing a string of 1.2’s recently, last week’s edition of ECW on Sci Fi scored a 1.4 cable rating. It looks like the SmackDown stars also appearing on Tuesday’s ECW have helped the ECW rating.

On Tuesday December 4Th, ECW on Sci Fi will not be airing due to a mini-series marathon. Instead, ECW will be airing on Thursday, December 6Th at 10 PM. This is head-to-head with the second hour of TNA iMPACT.

So on December 6Th we will get a one night only dose of a Thursday night war. A few months ago WWE RAW was aired on Thursday night head to head with TNA Impact!. TNA ran a clip show and many fans were upset with this as they should of ran new matches to see how they would fair against RAW. This time they better take notice and pull out all the stops against ECW.

Sure ECW isn't as strong as RAW but it is a WWE show and if TNA ever hopes to get a Monday night spot against RAW , then they need to see if they can outdo ECW first and on December 6Th they will have their only chance.
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...episode 24...

...while we constantly hear jokes about the nanny state in Britain...one is hard pressed to argue with the results of the "confiscate and warn" policy regarding marijuana the UK instituted in 2006...the plan would no doubt yield the same results here in the United States, but you know somewhere, the private prison industry is helping to keep a thumb on shit like this...too much capital in railroading non-violent drug offenders...this would drastically cut no only jail overcrowding, but provide a much needed relief to an already insanely overtaxed legal system...I mean, come the fuck on...wouldn't America like to make some progress on some front in one of its many wars?...

...yeah, nothing like adding a little artistic flare to your cannibalism...lime juice?...sorry, pal, I don't think the "feeding her to the dogs" shit's gonna fly...Jose Luis Calva, the 38-yr old suspected of killing three of his girlfriends...and having a light lunch on the third, so to speak...failed to make a plea in his first court appearance, saying he couldn't get his mind together at the moment...the whole "traumatic childhood" schtick fails to impress, as well...so you got buttslammed by some guy when you were 7...so what?...so fucking what?...why didn't you go eat him, instead?...

...I think we may have to nominate Georgia strip club "victim" Tommy Salter to our 2007 Probably Uncalled For Man of The Year Award race...spending $53,000 in a strip club...even if you didn't necessarily mean to do so...is quite an accomplishment when you are neither rich or famous...at any rate, enjoy the interest payments on all that sex in the champagne room...

...as for Anthony Merino, the sick little jerky douchebag that got caught throwing a humping on a deceased 92-yr old woman in a New Jersey hospital morgue...here's to hoping he gets plenty of live action, should he go to jail on second degree desecration of human remains charges...competent or not, we can think of no one who deserves a size 12 asshole more than this mook...

..."Eat it! Lick it! Snort it! Fuck it!"...this is what Britney Spears had to say to the media during her recent child custody hearing in L.A. last Friday...good plan, ya fucking rocket surgeon...how about "Clean it! Load it! Cock it! Fire it!" instead...this is key, now...you must have the barrel in your mouth...let us know how it works for you...

...think it's safe to say that Time magazine does not know dick about movies...we'll keep our little silly "Person of the Year" thing you pulled...but come on, Bambi as the 25th top horror movie of all time?...WTF?...how can anybody take your freakin magazine seriously anymore?...

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Time's money, talk's cheap, and somebody's done spent their allowance

You know you are heading into one of these weekends when you see the numbers in a report from the Congressional Budget Office. According to the CBO, the United States has spent roughly $604 billion on the military efforts in Iraq and Afghanistan, and the tab is estimated to hit $2.4 trillion over the next decade. And to think, you were probably sitting here, feeling all good because you just made an Internet payment on your student loans. Yeah. Good for you.

Word from the Democrats seems to be they are not going to do anything on President Bush's $196 billion request for war operations until early 2008, which seems to fall right in line with the present modus operandi of not doing very much of anything of all. The train of thought limping down the tracks on this is that the Pentagon can foot the bill through March by borrowing against its annual budget. Correct me if I'm wrong here, but when the parent lets the kids borrow against their allowance, doesn't it result in a lot of wasted money? Besides, who would be surprised if the Pentagon's budget were to suddenly be increased by the exact same amount they had borrowed?

Officials in the industry say the beginning plan would cost other programs, like base support and training, increasing the costs on down the road. Sen. Carl Levin (D-MI), head of the Armed Services Committee, said the Dems were looking at approving dough six months at a time, to increase pressure for a timetable, as well as dodge a "negative message to the troops." Yes, sir. Nothing would increase pressure on a timetable like continuing to pay for the wars. The only timetable President Bush is interested in starts in January 2009, when he can get started on his Presidential Liberry. One year, six months, week-and-a-half, what exactly is the difference? As for the troops, I'm sure enough of them already have a negative message of some sort, regardless of how much more money is spent to not equip them. Speaking of negative messages, not one Republican member of the House Budget Committee showed for a Thursday meeting on the cost of the wars in Iraq and Afghanistan. Something tells me somebody is pretty comfortable not only wit the cost of the wars, but the idea they are, in all likelihood, going to get the money one way or another and in some sort of eventually. And from what we've sen, why shouldn't they be anything but comfortable?

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Finally giving the shit jobs to the right people...

At long last, the House of Representatives have found a somewhat fitting purpose for the Department of Homeland Security - oversight of fertilizer.

Yeah, it does seem a little too easy, doesn't it? The bill, passed by a voice vote on Tuesday, requires producers, sellers, and some purchasers of ammonium nitrate to register with the Department of Homeland Security. Homesec will check fertilizer sales records against terrorist watchlists. Another important feature is civil liability protection for retailers who refuse to sell to customers.

Can't wait to see the signs in lawn and garden stores:

Management Reserves the Right not to Take Your Shit Simply Because We Won't Sell You any Shit!

Although, in hinsgith, it would have been awesome to see the ATF be rebranded as the Bureau of Alcohol, Tobacco, and Fertilizer.

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...this week in douchebaggery...

Whenever I think I have seen the peak of douchebaggery, someone comes along and raises the bar. Juan Arreola, a real piece of shit over in Easton, PA, pled guilty to six charges relating two seperate incidents in which he kicked and punched his girlfriend's 2-year old son. Says a lot for the girlfriend that there was two incidents, but that's neither here nor thre in this story, sad as it is to say.

When grilled by the judge presiding, Kimberly McFadden, as to his explanation for his behavior, Arreola stated he was "not a morning person." WTF? No, hold the fuck up a second. What the fuck? That's the story the guy is gonna stick to? At that very point in the proceedings, the honorable Judge McFadden should have hit him square in the junk with her gavel, saying "Indeed. Neither am I." This, of course, operates on the assumption that Judge McFadden is not a morning person. Not that it would matter much, I guess, if you had just smacked someone in the balls with a fucking mallet. Oh well. There, by the grace of a big-ass mallet, go I.

But does the new 007 know the up up down combo attack?

It's a video gamer's world, baby. Around the same time the statistic came out that more people in the United States are playing World of Warcraft than farming, Britain has instituted their latest high-profile recruiting tool, by way of advertising in online game sessions for PC and console gamers, including titles such as Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell: Double Agent. Call me crazy, but sound it sound like a good move recruiting from that title? I'm just saying.

The new advertising effort, ostensibly to bring in candidates with better technological skills and the ability to think on their feet, or couch or living room floor, if need be, to the British intelligence community. The Government Communications Headquarters, Britain's intel listening post, is behind the campaign, which seems a little more like The Last Starfighter than Patriot Games to me.

Not that I am unsupportive of video gamers. I myself own an Xbox 360, but I do not consider myself a gamer, for reasons of time, not some odd form of elitism. Even as someone who grew up in the age of paddle controllers (ask your parents about that if you need to...it's okay), I can't say I have the utmost confidence in this idea. Sure, I get that times are tough. Even MI6, the House of Bond, resorted to taking out a "help wanted" ad in the newspapers. I can only imagine how some of these calls went down:

"Good afternoon, MI6. How may I direct your call?"

"Lovely, mate. I'm calling about the ad for operatives."

"Very good, and what leads you to believe you would be a good fit in foreign intelligence?"

"well, guvnah (I love that accent, I do), I'm scared shiteless by heights, and I can barely speak the language we're speaking, but I have beaten all three Halo titles in one sitting on nine occasions."

"Brilliant. What time can you come in for an interview?"

A little exaggerated, to be sure, but you know it had to have happened at least once. You know it. I know it. Some jerk on his smoke break in some south-end London call center knows it. Way of the world. I mean, there's really not that much to do there while you are waiting for Amy Winehouse or Pete Doherty to screw up again. While the international intelligence racket may be a bit of a joke, it is still hardly a game. Just because you can dominate on XBox Live, that does not mean you are the one to monitor situations in hot zones. No reset button out here. However, if one of you should happen to find the cheat code...be sure to hit me up with an email.

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Martinez steps down as RNC head in CYA manuever

I kind of figured it was time for another high-profile resignation of some sort from the Republicans. On October 19, Sen. Mel Martinez (R-FL) announced the end of his tenure as general chairman of the Republican National Committee, eleven months after being named to the post by President Bush. The move, which came earlier than GOP officials has counted on, comes in light of decreasing dissatisfaction with the junior senator's performance. Martinez, a former secretary of Housing and Urban development serving his first term in the Senate, has seen his approval slide from 48percent to 28 percent in recent months.

In a statement, Senator Martinez said "since my election as General Chairman of the Republican Party, we have accomplished remarkable things." Yep. The GOP has managed to drill for democracy and strike quagmire in Iraq, prove more or less that they do not like sick children, and remain optimistic of their chances with a president so utterly clueless as to name-drop WWIII at a press conference. Remarkable, yes, but not for the right reasons. Oh, and just in passing, Senator Martinez was not elected, but appointed. A win is a win, but don't call a forfeit a knockout.

More from Martinez: "We have worked hard to articulate the Party's core values on vital national issues ranging from funding out troops to winning the War on Terror to the promotion of fiscally conservative policies. Even as a devil's advocate, it would be hard to go with calling that even hitting one out of three. We've grown accustomed to 'give us our way, or you are unpatriotic,' as it pertains to funding withdrawal, or pretty much anything to do with Iraq. The War on Terror, at face value, is in danger of becoming as relevant (and as ultimately successful) as the War on Drugs, and that parallel, coupled with the decision to band together against SCHIP expansion (at the mere cost of 40 days' worth of quagmire), proves that fiscally responsible depends greatly on who's slinging the cash.

Sen. Martinez did accomplish big things cash-wise for the party, even though the success still failed to live up to the glory days. Raising $61 million for the period ending in September (still over $17 down from the same time two years ago), the RNC is the only national party committee to scrounge up more dough than their Democratic party counterparts in 2007. I guess the GOP has hit a peek in their kool-aid market.

Friends and Republican officials close to Martinez and the situation said the Senator, who was sharing the chairmanship with Republican National Committee Chairman Robert M. "Mike" Duncan, had grown tired of handling both positions. Martinez had even told some he was only planning on keeping the job for about a year. The RNC said the job would not be refilled, returning the group to a single chairmanship. One thing I am trying to figure out- does anyone in the Republican National Committee even know how long Martinez was general chair, or when he took the gig? According to Mike Duncan, Martinez took over in January, but in the Associated Press article, they mention Martinez being general chairman for ten months, which puts this back to December. In the very same piece, it says President Bush named Martinez to the position last November.

For however long Mel Martinez was RNC General Chairman, and in spite of the monies he pumped into the Republican war machine, I will give credit where credit is due. While I can't say much he accomplished could be construed as much as a success, he did do a heckuva job, so to speak, holding the wheel through turbulent waters. Besides, how can you not love a guy who jumps the hell off the boat in plenty of time to miss the iceberg?
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Statement regarding October 9th Episode

On last Tuesday's show, ppdingles and myself were relaying word of an injury to Justin Lightning, who broke his jaw in a household accident a week and a half ago. As many of you out there in Internet radio land know, Lightning was supposed to be my opponent in the main event of the ill-fated United Wrestling Federation show, originally scheduled for October 14 in Corydon, Indiana. Anything to get out of a match with my (now-retired) alter ego.

As dingles and I was tossing a few one-liners at Justin's expense, we got a live caller, a friend of ours from the indie wrestling days. During the course of our conversation, she relayed the tale of one night when Justin and a cousin entered the adult establishment she worked at. Without going into specifics, it was fairly raunchy, even by our standards.

It was not my intention, nor that of ppdingles, Probably Uncalled For, or Free Rein Media, to portray Justin Lightning in such a fashion.
As I have mentioned numerous times on the Internet and at least once on this show previously, Justin is and remains a friend of ppdingles and I, "off the air" or away from the professional wrestling scene, and I apologize for any undue stress the remarks made during that segment of the October 9 show may have caused. While I am not here to judge the accuracy of the remarks made by our caller, from what I know of Justin both personally and professionally, he is simply not the type of individual that he was made out to be on the air.

Thomas Keister
Host, Probably Uncalled For
BlogTalkRadio.com/ProbablyUncalledFor

This week in yes holing

So, the United State military managed to reach its 207 recruiting goals, did it? As the four active-duty branches prepare to release thier 2008 goals, I'm left scratching my head.

I get that the military has had to jack bonuses, look the other way on things like education and criminal background, and even occasionally recruit the severely autistic kid, but man, doesn't anybody read/watch/listen to the fucking news anymore? Seriously, how can you hear about the increasing distance between sunshine and bullshit over in Iraq, and still think enlisting is a good idea? Ask the members of the Minnesota National Guard, who came home from nearly two years in Iraq to find their educational benefits were not, in fact, going to happen, and then ask them how they feel now about enlisting?

Defense undersecretary of personnel and readiness David Chu (the business card translates to government yes-hole) has an answer. Blame the parents, who are smart enough to support the troops stuck in this shitstorm, but are realistic enough to not want to amp up the war machine to perpetuate the problem. Chu's response to the percieved difficulty in recruiting?

"If the country is not willing to support a strong military for the United States by supporting the choices of young people to select military service as an option then yes, we will have trouble."

Douchebag. The country is willing to support a strong military for the United States. In the United States. Figure that out, yes-hole, and maybe on down the road you'll get a soundbite that doesn't sound like typical Bush administration buck passing.

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