Wednesday, October 24, 2007

But does the new 007 know the up up down combo attack?

It's a video gamer's world, baby. Around the same time the statistic came out that more people in the United States are playing World of Warcraft than farming, Britain has instituted their latest high-profile recruiting tool, by way of advertising in online game sessions for PC and console gamers, including titles such as Tom Clancy's Splinter Cell: Double Agent. Call me crazy, but sound it sound like a good move recruiting from that title? I'm just saying.

The new advertising effort, ostensibly to bring in candidates with better technological skills and the ability to think on their feet, or couch or living room floor, if need be, to the British intelligence community. The Government Communications Headquarters, Britain's intel listening post, is behind the campaign, which seems a little more like The Last Starfighter than Patriot Games to me.

Not that I am unsupportive of video gamers. I myself own an Xbox 360, but I do not consider myself a gamer, for reasons of time, not some odd form of elitism. Even as someone who grew up in the age of paddle controllers (ask your parents about that if you need to...it's okay), I can't say I have the utmost confidence in this idea. Sure, I get that times are tough. Even MI6, the House of Bond, resorted to taking out a "help wanted" ad in the newspapers. I can only imagine how some of these calls went down:

"Good afternoon, MI6. How may I direct your call?"

"Lovely, mate. I'm calling about the ad for operatives."

"Very good, and what leads you to believe you would be a good fit in foreign intelligence?"

"well, guvnah (I love that accent, I do), I'm scared shiteless by heights, and I can barely speak the language we're speaking, but I have beaten all three Halo titles in one sitting on nine occasions."

"Brilliant. What time can you come in for an interview?"

A little exaggerated, to be sure, but you know it had to have happened at least once. You know it. I know it. Some jerk on his smoke break in some south-end London call center knows it. Way of the world. I mean, there's really not that much to do there while you are waiting for Amy Winehouse or Pete Doherty to screw up again. While the international intelligence racket may be a bit of a joke, it is still hardly a game. Just because you can dominate on XBox Live, that does not mean you are the one to monitor situations in hot zones. No reset button out here. However, if one of you should happen to find the cheat code...be sure to hit me up with an email.

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