KISS co-founder and bassist Gene Simmons is a little pissed that once again, the band is not on the short list for induction into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, and honest to God, who can blame him? The band's been around since 1974, sold well over 100 million albums, and have influenced an untold number of bands. For crap's sake, even country artists have done covers of KISS hits from years' past. Yet, even Blondie is in the Hall of Fame and "The Hottest Band in the Land" isn't. I know there's a bit of stuff already heaped on President-elect Barack Obama's plate, but at the rate this is going, can we ask for an executive order, since apparently the hall of fame's foundation and it chair, Rolling Stone publisher Jann Wenner will consider any musical act on earth before they will consider KISS, and what a travesty. The inductees will be announced in January, with the induction ceremony in Cleveland on April 4. Simmons, while speaking at the recent Billboard Touring Conference, had this to say about the higher-ups in the hall of fame foundation, saying "A lot of those guys on the board can go and get my sandwich when I want, and I mean that in the nicest way." Not that I presume to be qualified to dish advice to Gene Simmons, but seeing how these guys apparently view your band, do you really want them handling your food?...
Since the subject of touring came up, here comes Chad Kroeger of Nickelback, whom you know as the band doing their level-headed best to reinvent the concept of "cookie-cutter" acts. Don't look at me that way. I like some of their songs, but overall, if you have one single by Nickelback on your mp3, you pretty much have the entire band's catalogue. Kroeger bemoaned the "lack of decent rock bands" in a recent interview, adding "Set down the 'Guitar Hero' learn how to play an actual guitar and start a band, because it's hard to find more bands to put a solid rock-and-roll package together." Um...yeah...sounds like someone's pissed cause more people aren't playing their songs on the game. Look, Chad, I can't help it I would much rather prefer to jam on Anarchy in the UK when I play Guitar Hero, but that's no reason to start shilling for a credit card company. Besides, lighten up...the way the music industry has apparently went, you'll be in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame before KISS, and again I say, what a travesty. Now shut up and go change the name of all your songs for a new album...
Meanwhile, in Switzerland, controversy is flaring, albeit in small doses, over new requirements for those being drafted by the Swiss army. Drinkers, pot smokers, and those used to rollin' on some phat X while waving glow sticks around like some real stupid motherfucker? Yeah, you're good, although no mention was made as to whether or not new conscripts had to bring enough for everybody. Who isn't the Swiss army looking for? Skinny motherfuckers and vegans. Yep, you read that right. Under the new rules, those who eat no animal products or weigh less than 8 stone (however much the fuck that is) are apparently not fit for service. Swiss politician Josef Lang weighted in by cracking that "half the male population will now become vegans.” Hey, why not? Hell of a lot easier than hightailing it to Canada. Also, what the fuck does the Swiss army even do, guard the pocket knifes, chocolates, and clocks? No, seriously...what do they do?...
And of course, what good would I be if I didn't chime in on the unfortunate Sarah Palin-Slaughterhouse interview debacle from the other day? As everyone on the fucking planet is aware of by now, utterly clueless Alaska Governor Sarah Palin took time from her busy schedule of planning Bristol's shotgun wedding and reading every publication printed in the known universe to "pardon" a turkey in her hometown of Wasilla. Funny, for someone who probably still doesn't know what the hell the Vice-President's job description is, she has the whole "pardon the turkey for Thanksgiving" thing down, just like she's practicing to be President herself one day, right? Wrong. After pardoning the gobbler, she proceeded to give an interview, because if there is anything Palin loves more than animals (she even called herself a "friend of all creatures," but did not elaborate if that included those you could shoot from a helicopter), it is the sound of her own voice. Ask her, and she'll even be the first to tell you, if she understands the question, that is. Damn media and such.
Only problem? The only people in Alaska that may be even less competent than Sarah Palin would appear to be her handlers. As Palin was gumbumping for the cameras, the scene right behind her was even more grisly, and that is a feat in its own. After pardoning the turkey, she went right on grinning as the also-rans were fed to the machine, bwah ha ha! Palin has since reverted to her second favorite activity, feigning ignorance, saying that she had no idea that was going on behind her, even though the much played video shows her at one point looking over at the guy taking care of future dinners across the state. Of course, that leaves the debate wide open as to whether or not she's feigning the ignorance, but I'll have to leave that for later.
While I'm not exactly counting anybody out of contention in 2012, I will say Sarah Palin is already on my short list for NOT having a shot at the White House in '12, but to be fair, she is also on my short list as having a really good shot at winning the Presidency in the crucial election the day after hell freezes right the fuck over.
Showing posts with label Switzerland. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Switzerland. Show all posts
Friday, November 21, 2008
Thursday, October 23, 2008
Probably Uncalled For Episode 71 Recap
Regarding the schmuck in Thomas Township, Michigan who got arrested for getting Bill and Monica with a car wash's vacuum cleaner...damn, buddy, I know times are tough financially for a lot of people here at the present, and 75 cents for a hummer, mechanical or otherwise, may be a hell of a deal, but if I may be so bold, just save up and buy a fucking Dustbuster. The people at Big Lots are not going to automatically assume you are in the market for a cheap companion that swallows, so you can check your social phobias, if any, at the door. An awkward 911 call kind of pales in comparison to spending a night in lock-up, although I'm sure you enthralled the holding cell with the woeful tale of love gone wrong in a car wash parking lot. You should be counting your lucky stars they didn't identify you in the news piece, dumbass...
I said it last night on the show, and I will say it again here- it sure seems like John McCain is already trying out bits and pieces of his concession speech, doesn't it? Already planning on going back to Arizona and serving out your Senate term? That does not sound like a man confident of his chances, and with 12 days to go, it's starting to look like you may have to leverage whatever political capital you have left to even keep your Senate seat, when it's all said and done...
To Frank Armstrong of Clearwater, Florida, the guy who says his Lexus was singled out for vandalism over the McCain-Palin sticker: uh, yeah...maybe if more than just your car was hit by the tools who scratched stuff in the paint, burned it with cigarettes, put a burned flag on the hood, and possibly drained the snake on it, and all cars involved had McCain-Palin stickers on it, then you might have a legitimate bitch. Yours was the only car? Sounds to me like you might have been a douchebag to begin with, political preferences aside...
Glad to see this election is already going to be handcuffed in some shape or fashion by all the hand-wringing over potential vote fraud, dirty tricks in registration, and purging of voter rolls. Anyone has to try and figure out why voter turnout in our country is so low (we are ranked 114th in the world in that category, by way of comparison, Cambodia is ranked 2nd in the world, and they do not have compulsory voting, either), look to the never-ending bullshit that has engulfed our country's "democratic" system of voting. No third parties are given anything resembling a level playing field, the rules become more confusing and/or petty each and every election cycle, and to say the very least, the removal of the process from non-partisan hands does nothing to ensure the bullshit will just get higher and more pungent on every lap...I mean, we have all seen what happens when a career-building, politically motivated Secretary of State (not naming names, Katherine Harris), gets in the mix...
The one change I am starting to hope for more than anything else in the aftermath of this election is Sarah Palin fading back into the woodwork in Alaska. Never before have I seen someone so ill-equipped to handle the national political stage. She makes Dan Quayle look like he discovered the Theory of Relativity, and she even makes Dubya look like he at least knows what he's doing, even though it's mostly been wrong and damn near criminal (and that's the stuff that wasn't flat criminal). Raving idiots like Palin and Rep. Michelle Bachman of Minnesota are the reason I said the cause of women in political roles is being set back for generations to come, and the more they talk, the more it seems like they are bending over backwards to prove me right. These know-nothing desperate housewife wannabes are perhaps the great new unseen danger in the political arena, and you don't even need a Saturday Night Live sketch to see that...
Which disturbs me more about "Great" Britain...that you need a license to throw away the fucking plastic wrap your brown bag lunch, or that doctors in the country need a new helping hand to figure out whether or not a patient is, in fact, dead? Neither. It's the fact they are still considered a world power of any sort. The nation has well went past even being a parody of themselves, and if it weren't for a handful of comedians and actors, they would have no export of any value, other than dumbass news stories for me to rip apart on my show each and every week...
What civic planning fucking genius puts a prison next door to a kindergarten? What moron allows a kindergarten to open next to a prison? Man, and to think, Brazil is on the verge of becoming a major player on the world stage due to their huge energy resources...then again, rather not think about that for the time being...
Switzerland feels it needs to pass a constitutional amendment to protect the dignity of plants? Allow me to facepalm briefly...what's next, People for the Ethical Treatment of Lettuce? Oh well, can't say too much...it's not like the United States has managed to come through on that "all men (or women) created equal" shit they've been touting for 200+ years now. Curious, though...what's the penalty for picking a wildflower from the side of the road? Are we talking a fine, or is there a jail term involved for violating the civil rights of a plant?...
Jeffrey Goldberg, the guy who has made a bit of a name for himself by going through airports coast-to-coast circumventing their security measures, most recently boarding a flight from Minneapolis-St.Paul International to Washington, DC with an Osama Bin Laden t-shirt on and a fake boarding pass with no photo ID on him, has to be applauded for showing us the business-as-usual operations of the Transportation Security Administration. For a country whose government has went above and beyond in playing the fear card in racheting up "homeland security," this is hardly a shock. Borders are not secure, shipping ports are not secure, and so on and so forth. What I want to know is, while Goldberg's quest may be noble, what did he have to Google up to find an "inflatable Arafat doll," and did he use a fake name to order it? There's exposing lax security, and then there's having your name linked to that kind of purchase...
My condolences to the private investigators in Australia...I mean, it had to be a tough life already, getting laid in the name of the common good, but now, just a promise of sex for money is evidence enough? I sense a sudden drop-off in the numbers of PI's doing their thing, so to speak, down under, so to speak...
Great show again, as always, in my less-than-humble opinion. Quick shout outs to friends of the show Jennifer Dunn, dealing with an illness in the family, and Tinkerbell, who has been hospitalized for illness the last couple of days and may be facing surgery. I told Jennifer I have no use for organized religion, but for both these longtime friends of myself and co-host ppdingles, I'll pray for them, and I would ask that fans and listeners of the show would keep them in their thoughts and prayers as well. See you all next week, for an all-new episode.
I said it last night on the show, and I will say it again here- it sure seems like John McCain is already trying out bits and pieces of his concession speech, doesn't it? Already planning on going back to Arizona and serving out your Senate term? That does not sound like a man confident of his chances, and with 12 days to go, it's starting to look like you may have to leverage whatever political capital you have left to even keep your Senate seat, when it's all said and done...
To Frank Armstrong of Clearwater, Florida, the guy who says his Lexus was singled out for vandalism over the McCain-Palin sticker: uh, yeah...maybe if more than just your car was hit by the tools who scratched stuff in the paint, burned it with cigarettes, put a burned flag on the hood, and possibly drained the snake on it, and all cars involved had McCain-Palin stickers on it, then you might have a legitimate bitch. Yours was the only car? Sounds to me like you might have been a douchebag to begin with, political preferences aside...
Glad to see this election is already going to be handcuffed in some shape or fashion by all the hand-wringing over potential vote fraud, dirty tricks in registration, and purging of voter rolls. Anyone has to try and figure out why voter turnout in our country is so low (we are ranked 114th in the world in that category, by way of comparison, Cambodia is ranked 2nd in the world, and they do not have compulsory voting, either), look to the never-ending bullshit that has engulfed our country's "democratic" system of voting. No third parties are given anything resembling a level playing field, the rules become more confusing and/or petty each and every election cycle, and to say the very least, the removal of the process from non-partisan hands does nothing to ensure the bullshit will just get higher and more pungent on every lap...I mean, we have all seen what happens when a career-building, politically motivated Secretary of State (not naming names, Katherine Harris), gets in the mix...
The one change I am starting to hope for more than anything else in the aftermath of this election is Sarah Palin fading back into the woodwork in Alaska. Never before have I seen someone so ill-equipped to handle the national political stage. She makes Dan Quayle look like he discovered the Theory of Relativity, and she even makes Dubya look like he at least knows what he's doing, even though it's mostly been wrong and damn near criminal (and that's the stuff that wasn't flat criminal). Raving idiots like Palin and Rep. Michelle Bachman of Minnesota are the reason I said the cause of women in political roles is being set back for generations to come, and the more they talk, the more it seems like they are bending over backwards to prove me right. These know-nothing desperate housewife wannabes are perhaps the great new unseen danger in the political arena, and you don't even need a Saturday Night Live sketch to see that...
Which disturbs me more about "Great" Britain...that you need a license to throw away the fucking plastic wrap your brown bag lunch, or that doctors in the country need a new helping hand to figure out whether or not a patient is, in fact, dead? Neither. It's the fact they are still considered a world power of any sort. The nation has well went past even being a parody of themselves, and if it weren't for a handful of comedians and actors, they would have no export of any value, other than dumbass news stories for me to rip apart on my show each and every week...
What civic planning fucking genius puts a prison next door to a kindergarten? What moron allows a kindergarten to open next to a prison? Man, and to think, Brazil is on the verge of becoming a major player on the world stage due to their huge energy resources...then again, rather not think about that for the time being...
Switzerland feels it needs to pass a constitutional amendment to protect the dignity of plants? Allow me to facepalm briefly...what's next, People for the Ethical Treatment of Lettuce? Oh well, can't say too much...it's not like the United States has managed to come through on that "all men (or women) created equal" shit they've been touting for 200+ years now. Curious, though...what's the penalty for picking a wildflower from the side of the road? Are we talking a fine, or is there a jail term involved for violating the civil rights of a plant?...
Jeffrey Goldberg, the guy who has made a bit of a name for himself by going through airports coast-to-coast circumventing their security measures, most recently boarding a flight from Minneapolis-St.Paul International to Washington, DC with an Osama Bin Laden t-shirt on and a fake boarding pass with no photo ID on him, has to be applauded for showing us the business-as-usual operations of the Transportation Security Administration. For a country whose government has went above and beyond in playing the fear card in racheting up "homeland security," this is hardly a shock. Borders are not secure, shipping ports are not secure, and so on and so forth. What I want to know is, while Goldberg's quest may be noble, what did he have to Google up to find an "inflatable Arafat doll," and did he use a fake name to order it? There's exposing lax security, and then there's having your name linked to that kind of purchase...
My condolences to the private investigators in Australia...I mean, it had to be a tough life already, getting laid in the name of the common good, but now, just a promise of sex for money is evidence enough? I sense a sudden drop-off in the numbers of PI's doing their thing, so to speak, down under, so to speak...
Great show again, as always, in my less-than-humble opinion. Quick shout outs to friends of the show Jennifer Dunn, dealing with an illness in the family, and Tinkerbell, who has been hospitalized for illness the last couple of days and may be facing surgery. I told Jennifer I have no use for organized religion, but for both these longtime friends of myself and co-host ppdingles, I'll pray for them, and I would ask that fans and listeners of the show would keep them in their thoughts and prayers as well. See you all next week, for an all-new episode.
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