Odds and ends from the wrestling world this week

In a recent interview with The Sun in Britain, WWE attorney Peter McDevitt spoke out on the lawsuit being brought by former WWE talent Raven, Chris Kanyon, and Mike Sanders (yes, I know I'm using the term talent loosely here, in regards to Raven). McDevitt dismissed the merits of the suit, as all WWE performers agree to independent contractor status when they slap their autograph on the dotted line, meaning that, among other things, they bear responsibility for their health benefits. McDevitt also added that the Internal Revenue Service had never taken issue with World Wrestling Entertainment over the status of their contracted in-ring talent.


But that's okay, let the marks weigh in, too. I mean, what the hell does a guy who went to law school know? Some rocket surgeon let loose with this misguided pearl of wisdom: "Vince should guarantee all his full-time wrestlers have healthcare, for God's sake."


Sigh. This is what happens when marks and the Internet collide, everybody becomes an insider. To get an excellent take on providing health benefits for professional fighters (don't roll your eyes at me, there are still states that insist on licensing pro wrestling, regardless of whether or not kayfabe is obvious to anyone not in the gorilla position), read UFC head Dana White's interview in the September 2008 Playboy, where he uses opening a yogurt shop as a comparison. As a small business owner, I can tell you first-hand that the costs of providing healthcare for any number of employees is or can be a major chunk of operating capital, and a large reason a lot of businesses either fail or simply do not provide benefits at all. Try calling up a few insurance companies, and tell them you are trying to get a flock of pro wrestlers insured, and see what kind of response, other than a sudden dial tone in your ear, you get. Then look at your original argument again, and tell me how stupid it looks in the big picture.


That is not to say WWE does not watch their workers' backs when the fit hits the shan, but on a simple cost-effective basis, you will never see WWE, TNA, UFC, EliteXC, IFL, or any boxing federation start handing out Blue Cross Blue Shield cards backstage. It's okay to be a mark, but before you start telling people how to run their business, maybe try getting a business degree or a basic understanding of how the industry (and by industry, I mean the business behind the business of professional wrestling) works first.

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Word from South of the border is that Shane McMahon went to talk turkey with Mexican cable channels Televisa and TV Azteca, pitching deals to get WWE programming on the air, however, when all was said and done, no agreement was reached. Quite frankly, this leaves me scratching my head. While it is disappointing (for the Mexicans) that WWE programming has yet to fully invade their country, the flip side of the coin is true here in the United States. My cable provider offers Univision, and I believe Telemundo for a brief spell a couple years back, there is a woeful lack of Lucha Libre action available...and on a Spanish-language network, to boot! Granted, unless you paid a lot more attention in your high school Spanish classes than I did, the promos won't make a lick of sense, but wrestling's a universal language! BRING ME INSANE MASKED MEXICAN WRESTLING, FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!!!

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Ugh. Watching the Summerslam rematch between MVP and Jeff Harvey (yes, it's intentional) on Smackdown!, and it occurs to me that sometimes, I really miss the XFL. It was a lot less grating on the nerves to listen to Jim Ross hyperbole away on how every other move "was an XFL-style kick/punch/insert move here," than it is to listen to him gush all over the headset each and every week about how Harvey (still intentional) is the greatest thing since sliced came in bread form.

How Jeff Harvey (I'm not gonna spell it right...just don't care) still ranks the push he gets from WWE creative is the real enigma. He has a lousy work ethic. Pay attention, I mean real good and close attention to any match he works...he blows at least three spots in each and every one. Without fail. If you at home are anything like me, you're just placing bets on when that bright and shining day arrives when racks up his third and final wellness program strike. Although, something also tells me TNA would sign him back in a heartbeat, which may be an even bigger disappointment than the WWE giving Ron Killings a second go-around.

Another great advance in the war on drugs

We travel to California for this one, where the United States Forest Service has coughed up $200,000 of taxpayer monies to buy a pair of unmanned "drones" to fly over national forests to aid in the battle against Mexican cartels that have been setting up shop on the Forest Service's turf.

The drone wars...began they have...

The contraptions will help identify marijuana crops and provide risk assessment to law enforcement agencies before raids are made. The $100k drones feature one equipped with thermal cameras for night flight.

Not that I'm overly thrilled over this news, hearing of yet another waste piled on to the drug war's perpetually running tab, but it is good to see the Forest Service man up a bit. Tired of just hearing about them warn bears about stealing picnic baskets or stumble over the occasional serial killer. Oh yeah, and guarding against forest fires...there's that, too.

Can't wait to hear the story, however, where two enterprising sorts take out one, or both, of the drones. Maybe not in a clever, ice planet Hoth from The Empire Strikes Back-way, but you know what I'm saying.

Man...first we mentioned the possible beginning of the Sith-Jedi wars (in a physical sense) in England, where a guy in a Darth Vader helmet (presumably a Sith) attacked the founder of Britain's Jedi Church...and now, the drones are being deployed...fuck, man..somebody best be getting off their asses and making this lightsaber thing a reality...

Tonight, on an all-new episode of Probably Uncalled For...

Come join Dr. Thomas Keister and ppdingles on The Smartest Damn Thing You'll Hear All Week, as they'll be pontificating on some MMA nonsense in Missouri, more stupid crap in the Florida schools, turmoil in Mexico, and the Sith Wars...began they have in Great Britain?...all this, the weekend box office report, some WrestleMania 24, and all the usual TBA you need and crave to get ya over that humpday!

With success like this, who needs failure?

With all of the flat-out denial we get treated to on a daily basis regarding the current state of our fiasco in Iraq, I imagine sometimes it is easy to forget that Iraq is not the only war America is losing. In the midst of plummeting approval ratings for both the president and congress, a less-than-surprising new chapter in denial made its debut courtesy of the nation's drug czar. According to John Walters, the head of the Office of Drug Control Policy, the war on drugs is seeing some of its best results of the last 20 years. Thankfully, there is no mention of the insipid and ineffectual anti-drug commercials the government has flushed away hundreds of millions of dollars on over the years.

So, what are some of the results that Walters is crowing mightily about? While 90%, give or take, of the cocaine that enters this country comes from Mexico, interdiction efforts have disrupted the flow enough to drive prices up in thirty-seven cities across the nation. The price jump is reported to range from 24% to nearly double in some cities. Okay, let me get this straight. Thirty-seven cities, out of thousands of cities, is considered the best results of the last twenty years? Sounds like typical war on drugs mathematics- high on optimism and low on return. Besides the numbers not exactly playing to Walters' favor, there is the train of thought that increased prices will just increase pressure in the clandestine drug market, leading to increased efforts to get it, at least in thirty-seven select cities. I'm sure any potential increase in the crime rate will make the irony involved somehow worth it.

Another key point in Walters' happy news was his statement that fewer American workers are producing positive drug test results, in addition to fewer cocaine-related hospital admissions. More ado about nothing. While fewer hospital admission can invariably reduce peripheral spending linked to the war on drugs, and fewer workers testing positive for drugs will undoubtedly help employers sleep better at night, it misses two two other obvious points to consider. Interdiction may be helping but the reality is people are simply growing more functional and using smarter. I have said for years that potheads are among the most cost-efficient employees out there. They hate switching jobs, due to often having to test for a new job, and they are among the safest, because workers' comp always drug tests for an on-the-job accident. That right there is more realistic and believable than possibly anything John Walters has said since taking charge at the ODCP.

You may consider Walters a little foolish, as he beams like Don Quixote charging a windmill, but at least he is a humble man, our drug czar, sharing some of the credit with Mexican President Felipe Calderon. Out of the world leaders battling a major war on drugs, only Calderon seems to be the one willing to put up some serious, and realistic, effort to combat trafficking, sending 25,000 police officers and army personnel to the areas hit hardest by drug violence. Not that sending 25,000 U.S troops to our borders would do much good, seeing as how the DEA, Customs, Border Patrol, ATF, U.S. Marshal's office, Coast Guard, Homeland Security can't coordinate and make a dent in any drug traffic, let alone the scratch to the iceberg Walters is celebrating.

Walters issued his remarks as the United States and Mexico are kicking around the details of an aid package estimated up to $1 billion to help Mexico fight the drug trade. What kind of success can we expect for this $1 billion, the kind John Walters is promoting, or something someone could be proud of with a straight face? Walters says the challenge is sustaining the results for the long term, but that seems to be casting an impossibly large shadow over the challenge of actually producing some results.