The Daily Breakdown - 12.1.08

Meanwhile, as I was wondering if anyone would manage to get trampled during "Cyber Monday," the big online shopping day following Black Friday...

MSNBC mentioned Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin campaigning for Senator and well-known douchebag Saxby Chambliss today in Georgia, where Chambliss faces Democrat Jim Martin in a runoff election tomorrow. The headline at the bottom of the screen proclaimed "Palin on the stump again." My first thought? Palin on the stump again? That's a heck of a thing to say about Todd, and I wonder when the next trophy child will be unloosed upon us...

With a story breaking over the weekend that Britain is actually the most promiscuous countries in the world, I was glad to get a little cause and effect story to balance everything out this morning, as another study showed that many major supermarket chains are charging rock bottom prices, no pun intended, for alcohol than for bottled water and in a few instances, even less than a bottle of Coke. Alcohol is now almost 70% cheaper now, based on income, than it was in 1980, with some items going for 40% less than the suggested retail price. Wow. I think we finally have an answer as to why hook-ups occur in supermarkets as opposed to bars. Not to mention, the overall bravery of the British people, as readily available cheap booze combined with promiscuity simply increases the odds of winding up in the sack with Amy Winehouse. I'd rather play Russian roulette than take the chance on waking up next to Amy Winehouse, because honestly people, who has the time to gnaw their arm off at the shoulder at that hour of the morning?...

Now that we are neck deep in the holiday season, let the dumbass "war on Christmas" stories and PC holiday "traditions" flood our news markets. In Olympia, Washington, the Christmas tree (or Holiday tree, or Xmas shrub, or whatever the hell you wanna call it) will share space with not only a Christian nativity scene, but a billboard from an atheist group. Normally, there is also a menorah included to recognize Hanukkah, but so far, no requests have been made to include one this year.

The billboard, sponsored by the Freedom from Religion Foundation, will read
"Religion is but myth and superstition that hardens hearts and enslaves minds." Fair enough, I suppose, and maybe even true enough, if you take enough time to study the issue and come to your own conclusion, but what struck me as stupid was the statement by Annie Laurie Gaylor, the foundation's co-president, that the sign is a reminder of the "real reason for the season, the winter solstice."

Uh, yeah...about that...not that I am a giant fan of the holiday season by any stretch of the imagination, that statement is just ludicrous. Yes, I am well aware that the winter solstice marks the beginning of winter, but let me ponder, when have I ever seen a "Winter Solstice Sale," or a winter solstice tree, or the winter solstice tradition of cramming "A Christmas Story" or "It's a Wonderful Life" down our throats, or heard the godawful winter solstice music? Oh, yeah...never have. I can fully get behind separating religion from those who may not want a public spectacle made of it every fucking year, but a Christmas tree hardly fucking qualifies. There is Christmas, which some choose to celebrate as a religious holiday, and yet others still who use it to its materialistic breaking point. Why not crusade for something that means something real, like poverty, or injustice, or something rather than self-importance for six weeks out of the year?

You may think I'm being harsh, or reactionary, or whatever the buzzword is this year, but ask yourself...where are all the protesters like Annie Laurie Gaylor come summer solstice?...yep, that what I thought...

Ain't no way I'm putting this in my pipe and smoking it

Okay, so let me get this straight. According to a report on Boston.com, Amy Winehouse is now taking a stab at Buddhism. A source, in remarks to Britain's The Sun, said that "Winehouse was introduced to Buddhist chanting by one of her musicians, chanting in the mornings and just before she sleeps", and that "She says chanting is filling her life with positivity." Um. Okay. But I'm guessing since Amy Winehouse is involved, there's has to be a hook. Some massively dumbass thing that makes this story so fucking newsworthy.

The article mentions that "doctors reportedly fear (Winehouse) could be brain damaged after a recent cannabis overdose."

Ah, so there it is. Ahem...What the Fuck? A cannabis overdose? A cannabis overdose? Somehow I'm utterly fucking baffled and not very surprised at the same time. You can not honestly expect anyone, even the people who read Boston.com, apparently, to believe that there is such a thing as a cannabis overdose? That's even dumber than the perpetual mention of Amy Winehouse by MSM and the blogosphere. Yes, I know I'm doing exactly that just by posting this, but seriously, how can you see something as completely ass stupid as that, and not write about it?

All the dozens, hundreds, thousands (?) of ways that Amy Winehouse could have earned her suspected and/or rumored brain damage, and this was the best one they could come up with? What the hell, did they sit around the doctors' lounge with a fat blunt and benchmark this?

You'll excuse me now. It isn't 4:20, but it is breakfast...