Watching our language

Words, a simple five letter word, that whether or not you are aware of it, has been a part of your entire life. You learn young what words are acceptable and what words are not. The first you learn not to say are the "dirty four-letter" words. Doesn't it strike you as strange that most of the bad words consist of only four letters?

Lately, though, there has been a seven letter word, that is in the news frequently, and somehow has even been granted "word of the year" status, despite it being dirtier in its own way than any four letter word previously coined. The word is bailout! I could think of several that could be used in its place- bonus, handout, giveaway, charity- you get the drift. This country is in really sad shape when it starts rewarding its failures- be they in business or government.

Cases in point, AIG bailed out- business as usual, with all the luxury perks like big salaries, bonuses, etc. Citigroup- still gets to sponsor big-time college football games and keep their $400 million deal to name the new stadium where the Mets will play, along with the big salaries and bonuses and so on and so forth.

Now the big three automakers want in on the giveaway and why not, its only taxpayer money! But most taxpayers don't make $28, $38, or $70 an hour, whichever number is being quoted more at the moment in the press. Even the low amount of $28 an hour is close to three times what the average worker gets an hour. These big executives fly to Washington in private jets, have limos waiting on them to go beg for money, and don't even bat an eye while doing so. Most people still have all they can do to keep gas in their car, even though it has dropped tremendously. While it has dipped, everything else has gone up. This column won't make a difference anywhere or in anything, but at least I was able to throw in two cents more than my share of the future bailouts.

Flat tires all around, and guess who's getting asked for a jack?

Well, I'm glad to see it's back to business as usual. Yesterday, the CEOs of General Motors, Ford, and Chrysler, along with the president of the United Auto Workers met with House Speaker Nancy Pelosi and Senate Majority Leader Harry Reid to hold hands out for even more federal aid. General Motors, in a statement, said the effort was to help "the competitive U.S. auto industry contribute to our nation's economic revival." How very. It seems in recent months, the only competition the auto industry has had is seeing who can rack up bigger volumes of unsold (read low mileage) vehicles, due to the industry's inability to develop anything other than massive pick-ups and sport utility vehicles.

In addition to help in getting their mitts on federal bailout monies from the Treasury Department or the Federal Reserve, the auto industry is wanting $25 billion in federal loans, so they can pay future health care costs for retirees. Perfect. The industry makes a deal with the unions just over a year ago, and now they can't figure out how to pay for it. According to Rep. John Dingell (D-MI), the automakers will use the money to "invest in jobs and opportunities for American workers and American industry." Again, how very. General Motors, in particular, is burning through a billion dollars a month, and all of a sudden, they want two years of blow-through cash to invest in jobs and opportunities? Then why, I need to know, are Ford and GM planning job cuts, if they are getting ready to invest in jobs? Are these the same jobs the UAW helps price workers out of in a matter of years? Will Ford, GM, and Chrysler continue to operate in the exact same fashion, on the taxpayers' dime, or will they actually invest in fuel-efficient technologies and production capabilities to prevent these vehicles from costing $30 grand a piece?

If the new, stronger Democratic Congress and Senate wants to help the auto industry, then what they should do is wait the 100 days that GM says is so critical for the auto industry, see who is still standing, and then for clearer ideas of how exactly the bailout cash will be used for good. The last thing the American people need is the loss of these auto jobs, I grant you, but at the same stroke, not if it means coughing up bonus money for the ineffectual chief executives that helped steer the industry into the less-than-stellar shape they're in? Then again, we are talking about Nancy Pelosi, who never met a problem she couldn't throw a blank check at, so Lord only knows...

At Ford, quality may be job #1, but shouldn't common sense be in the top 3 somewhere?

Let me see if I got this straight...according to Alan Mulally, chief executive officer of Ford Motor Company, the economic slump will be "longer and deeper" than most people previously thought. Thank you, Captain Obvious. Perhaps it was the $110 billion in asinine "sweeteners" tacked on to the bailout plan's second take, which surprised absolutely no one, as did the fact the second bailout passed with little of the hemming and hawing that punctuated the first attempt.

Never mind the idea that a guy making $26 million a year to drive a major (and formerly venerable) corporation into the ground like a tent stake is talking about economic slumps. I would say Mulally has taken pages from the Carly Fiorina playbook of business management, but something tells me it was just the playbook's lone page, which Fiorina didn't even bother coloring in completely.

Mulally didn't stop there while making remarks at the Paris auto show, making the non-statement that what makes it harder for everybody (the auto industry) is slowing global auto sales, and confirming that bankruptcy is not an option on the table for Ford. First, consistently sticking with vehicles featuring poor gas mileage performance, and that includes the so-called "crossovers" is what has led to, in large part, slowing global auto sales. Secondly, why would bankruptcy be an option? The guy in a long free-fall isn't so much worried about the view on the way down, just at what point rock bottom's going to arrive.

In just 15 minutes on an all-new Probably Uncalled For...

Episode #68: Tonight, on an all-new Probably Uncalled For, join Thomas Keister and ppdingles as they will be discussing the latest on the Bailout, 3rd party updates on Bob Barr and absolute lunacy from Cynthia McKinney, more stupid Britain, Kelly Osbourne, Ellen, the road sign of the beast, and the new Free Rein Media Store launch, among other topics TBA.