Mississippi Burning II: Dumbass Boogaloo

What an absolute shock this story was when I found it. Not even a week after the presidential election, and already, the red states are showing their asses in small, yet remarkably unrefined ways. WLBT TV reports on officials at Puckett Attendance Center telling a woman's daughters that they were only allowed to mention President-elect Barack Obama in history class. Not in any other class, nor in the hallways, but only in history class. No word on whether or not this mysterious decision applies to the cafeteria, the buses, or the parking lot. Only in red state Mississippi, where yes, they did go for Sen. John McCain, could politics collide with limericks in just this fashion:

"There once was a school in Puckett,
that didn't like the election and said fuck it..."

I'm not exactly a poet laureate, so I'll allow you to finish it, if you can. Hell, email me your best shot, and I'll reprint it here.

Naturally, when the girls' mother called the school, rightfully so, with a little "what the hell?," no explanation was given, nor was any school official ready to speak with WLBT when they called for some answers. Personally, I don't think any explanation is needed. Mississippi is a state full of hicks, always has been, always will be, and you'd be hard pressed to argue, based on the actions of the apparently bitter muckety mucks at the Puckett Attendance Center.

Wonder if this interrupted helping McCain blow out the candles on his birthday cake?

While John McCain was having Alaska Gov. Sarah Palin metaphorically jump from his birthday cake yesterday, announcing her puzzling selection as the GOP vice-presidential candidate, President Bush was attempting to look busy, you know, now that the sand's almost run through the hourglass on his presidency (and thank God or your personal deity of choice for that).

Early this morning, according to reports from the AP, Bush was in contact with the governors of Louisiana, Mississippi, Alabama and Texas, co-ordinating efforts to brace for the impending arrival of Hurricane Gustav, which has hit wind speeds of up to 120mph as it prepares to bitchslap Cuba on its way to the United States. White House yeshole Scott Stanzel said Bush told the governors of those states they'd have the full support of the federal government.

I'm sure that made a lot of people feel better- as they were getting the fuck out of Dodge, so to speak. I'll bet the consensus is simple "keep your jacked-up FEMA trailers, and go read to some kids or something." I'm sure Bush could use a little help on his phonics, and who better to assist than some NCLB "success" stories? Of course, knowing our, ahem, president, he'll wind up bringing a pop-up book with him.

Here's to hoping for the best for the Gulf Coast, although personally, I think they're fucked...