They gots themselves some serious issues over at Disney

Again, the marketing folks at Disney are displaying behavior I believe they called "short-eyed" in prison once upon a time. A few months or so back, I was marveling at the Mouse company's marketing of rub-on tramp stamps for wee tots, available through vending machines at Toys R Us locations, but now, the bar has been raised, or more appropriately, lowered to depths not previously imagined outside the Neverland Ranch.

In a marketing gimmick for the latest High School Musical to be inflicted upon us, clothing items featuring crap from the movie are being peddled at fast as they can crank them out of third world sweatshops. No big surprise there. Hell, even I have merchandising, including t-shirts, and yes, at one point, thong underwear with a previous website URL, with a joke about how you think about it (the now-defunct website, not the contents of the thong) every few seconds.

Not to be outdone, however, the folks at Disney approved a design for underwear aimed at the under 10 crowd. On the front, the words "Dive In" appear.

WTF? No, seriously, maybe more so than in any other column I have included those 3 letters, what in the name of bluest fuck on a china plate?

Dive In? That would be hot at oh, say, amateur night at PT's Showclub, but most decidedly NOT on anyone under the age of 18. I mean, in today's cultural and moral climate, you have enough wondering to do about the safety of kids, even as mainstream entertainment exhorts them to grow up faster by the minute, all in the name of "family entertainment," but this? This is waving a red flag at the bull of child molestation. This is one of the most crass, exploitative, asinine, creepy motherfucking things I have ever seen.

Understandably, parents are a little miffed over this. And it's not like Disney couldn't see at least the tip of the iceberg here. The way the underwear is packaged, you won't see the phrase until you have bought them (no doubt at the high-pitched plea of one of your kids), get them home, and open the packaging. I wonder how many single dads are a fixin to lose joint custody or wind up in "supervised visits" over this, a simple undergarment purchase.

"Dive In" refers to a scene in where kids dive into a pool. Okay. Is that the message Disney is aiming for? "High school's goin be great, kids. Book learning, friendship, diving into pools in your underwear...stay in school!?" A yeshole for Asda, the company that makes the underwear, said Disney approved the design, going on to say, "It was completely innocent and certainly not meant to cause any offense to customers, however we will now consider our next steps in relation to the small number of items remaining on sale."

Yes. Completely innocent. Bullshit. The only person I think should own these is Vanessa Hudgens, the remarkably ungroomed star of the franchise (check infamous web pics for more on that), cause once that gravy train derails, you're gonna need those on to score a role in a Sci-Fi Channel made-for-TV and DVD disasters, or the third bikini chick from the left at a boat show. That is, if the casting director has no fear and a machete...